Monday, February 4, 2013

Seth Macfarlane Planning No Less Than 13 Family Guy Voices for the Oscars.


Picture the scene. It's the night of the 83rd annual Academy Awards as Christoph Waltz goes up on the stage to accept his Oscar for his work in Django Unchained. A moment that will forever live in the minds of those talented as a defining point in their career. By accepting this award, millions will know the full extent of this actor's abilities and all of their film trailers following this night will have the pleasure of being able to attach “With Academy Award winner...” for extra flair. Naturally of course, this star-studded night will appropriately be met with Seth Macfarlane jokingly pulling away the Oscar Award from the winning nominees before offering it back to them doing his high pitched Peter Griffin voice. Because in case you'd forgotten, Seth Macfarlane is hosting this awards show, and he's going to do his best to make sure everyone remembers all the shows he's put his name on. The Academy selected him as a result of their desire to appeal to the younger demographic. Because the people you want watching the biggest awards show celebrating film should be the same people who paid money to see Ted.

“As a lover of the world of film, this is an honor above anything I could ever imagine.” Seth beams while looking over his notes for which actresses will be receiving a “Giggity Giggity” in his Quagmire voice. “I'm thinking of using at least 13 Family Guy voices. I know I only do like 7 on the show in actuality, so I'm working on some new ones that I can introduce in the next season or something.” When questioned on whether he was worried his voices for Family Guy would interfere with the integrity, Seth was quick to dismiss this idea.

“Far from it. I know how much this means to a lot of people. This is a night dedicated to cinema, not Family Guy.” Seth acknowledged. “That's why I'm also planning on working in some stuff from American Dad, The Cleveland Show, and that Flintstones reboot that never got picked up. I want to remind people that I did all of those.”

When the Oscars gave Seth the go-ahead to make a skit featuring his foul-mouthed Teddy Bear, Ted, in a short skit with Mark Wahlberg (whose role in the film was shockingly not done with motion capture CGI like his furry companion) to be presented at the ceremony. This nod from the Academy gave Seth an unparalleled amount of bad ideas in which he can milk his other franchises for all they're worth.

“It won't all be jokes!” Seth quickly added. “At some point I'd like to use my Stewie voice to tell people to buy Family Guy on dvd or I'll destroy them. Or I can do it in Brian's and mix in some of my own liberal ideas to force onto other people. There's just a lot of possibilities.”

At this point we at Culture Shocked would like to remind anyone concerned over Seth's participation that the Academy Awards have always been pretty awful.

“Hey Lois! Remember the time The Artist won best picture? That was a friggin' joke.”

Even through his grating Peter Griffin voice, we can't help but agree with him there.

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